The Dove

Our worker came on Thursday. She is really nice and sweet and I really like her. Everything looks good she said and we will probably have our final inspection in September. Yeah! Room is almost done. I want to start really clearing out my clutter in my house for the rest of the summer to prepare for the future.

Frustration.....frustration......frustration

After a week of not hearing from her our worker called to tell us that our new radiator covers will not pass inspection because there are little spaces in between the wood. She explained that a child may put his hand in it and burn it. What? I told her she was wrong and no child can stick his hand in between the slots so she said she needs to come check. Im not sure if this is really a problem or does she want to break us down so that we back out of becoming foster parents. Really people really??????? First of all, even when the heat is on, the radiators are not hot enough to burn anything. I am frustrated, really frustrated. So many times tonight I wanted to call her and tell her "forget it"....Ill just have my own! DYFS is so frustrating! Now she is coming tomorrow to check other things. I am sure the wood stove fence is not good enough because its not high enough. She told me that already, but I told her its fine....the age group that we want is birth to age 3..the fence is fine. Why so much baby proofing? I told Hannah no, she didnt do it and when she did she got a time out. That's whats going to happen to any child I have the pleasure to raise. That is how I was raised...you say no...you mean no..or you get punished. Too old fashioned for DYFS I guess.

What brings to my mind is that is God closing the door and Im keeping it open or does He want me to develop patience and the ability to lean on Him? Im not sure....is He shutting the door? Does He not want this for the McIntyre's? Sometimes Jimmy tells me this, but then he comes up with ways to overcome DYFS requests (putting mesh on the back so no finger will fit through). So many times tonight I just wanted to tell him that I'm done, but Hannah was always right there and I dont want to tell her its over until its over. No mind games.

Today I spent the day with a foster child who I just love. He is very special and the thought of him makes me smile. I see Him and I smile knowing that so many seeds are being planted in him that will last an eternity. Wondering what would have happened to him if he didn't get the foster parents that he did. Hes such a good kid (all boy) and I love him. Keep thinking of him and many other foster children who are living a great life because of foster parents who did not give up.

Please pray for us. She comes tomorrow at 4PM. Pray for Gods will and my willingness to accept and trust Him if this is not His will. Thanks for listening...I feel a little better!