How to Pray?

What Zachary has taught me so far.......

Boys and girls are so different!
Going fast in a car and going over bumps is FUN!
Boys like mud puddles!
Hannah is so cute and strict!
Fathers are hard on sons (even foster sons)!
Although boy clothes can be cute, girls clothes are so much better!
Vegetables really are not good!
Always follow through on your word!
Always call people back!
God is amazing!
God is in control!
God's plan is good!
I need to study the word more! I need to be grounded and planted to be his mommy!
The devil can use a three year old child to ruin a marriage/family, if you are not planted in the word and surrounded by people who are praying!
God will provide all your needs (thanks Maggie)!
Foster parenting is HARD! You want to pray for his parents to get better, but do you (because that means you lose them)????????????

The last statement hits me hard. I recently had contact with his mom who appears to be so lost and sad! I want her to get better! I want her to know God! But Ive come to love her son A Lot! I want to keep him. I want to see what God has planned for him, but not at her cost! Wish I could have both.....but I can't.....so what do I do? Do I ask God to help her after he's mine? Do I ask Him to ignore her? Do I ask Him to help her get her boy back? That's my problem........

I must remember that it is only through the grace of God that I am who I am and I could have been EASILY on drugs and messed up if it wasn't for special people God placed in my life, just at the right time. I thank Him and I love Him for that and them! I am still a work in progress, but I am so glad that I am not who I used to be!

I can pray for God's will, but I'm still not sure what that means.....do I pray for her? Do I pray for her salvation? Do I jump for joy knowing she "failed" her drug test? I have that yucky feeling in my belly and that is what I'm going to pray about........that I can be that mature in Christ that I can really pray for that without that yucky feeling......Does that make sense?

Until then I am going to enjoy my little man and my sweet family! Pray for his salvation and tuck him into bed at night knowing that I am doing the work of the Father! And that he is using this little boy to teach me so much about life.

Health Care?

I cant even begin to tell you the struggle that I am going through taking my little man to "doctors" that his insurance covers. Dirty! Dirty! Dirty doctors offices (think DMV gross) with doctors who appear clueless. I fight for referrals for speech evaluations because only I can understand him. I fight for antibiotics because he has an ear infection. I fight for a referral for a specialist for his ears because he has had an ear infection for a month. I fight for a referral to the eye doctor because he appears to not see great out of his left eye ("that's normal" his "doctor" says)

Normal? No! It takes everything out of me to bring him to these doctors and their dirty office. He needs the best care..the best doctor...the best of it all! My girl has the best, so should my boy! The best care this little man gets is in the ER (which we visit frequently because his "doctor" thinks an ear infection will cure itself). Its bad when you don't mind going to the ER for treatment. I feel bad bringing him there because it's not a true emergency, but its our only hope for good proper medical treatment. Health care for the poor and foster children really stinks!

However, the most humbling experiences come when you do get the referrals for the specialists ...you make your appointment three weeks ahead of time....you show up on time....and the secretary looks at you and says, "Oh you have "that" insurance.....let me double check if we can see you today". WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some people can make you feel defeated and violated...almost not worthy of being in their presence because your child is on "Medicaid". It truly is a humbling experience to be treated like crap. I always like to watch their face drop when you tell them that "I wish the state would give better care to foster children or a least let them go under your health care plan". After this news, AMAZINGLY little man is sent right out to see the good doctor and you become the secretary's new best friend because she is ever so nice to you. It makes me want to puke!

The rest of the day I think about how sad I feel inside for all the parents who want great health care for their children, but can not afford "the best". I think about the awesome health care I have taken for granted all these years. I never really thanked God for it, but tonight I am on my knees thankful for the blessing of good health care. Praying for moms and dads who don't have "the best"....praying for children in the foster care system who need "the best".....praying for doctors and staff to be nice to families who can't afford "the best"!